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Have a Redneckin’ Happy New Year!
By DK | December 31, 2009 |
For those of you wantin’ to do thangs proper tonight, I found this little “How To” article over on eHow.com to git you off to a right good start!
How to Bring in the New Year Like a Redneck
“Iffin’” you are ready for a throw down, hootin’, good ole fashioned, down home, sky crackling, pig hollering, mud stompin’, whinny of a New Year this holiday, then you have to read these helpful “get em’ done” tips on bringing in the New Year!
Things You’ll Need:
* A hankering for a party
* Lots of kin folk
* Viddles
* Plenty of shotguns for fireworks
* Lots of corn squeezins
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Nobody likes to bring in the New Year better than a Redneck. A Redneck can plan a party lickety split! Most Rednecks surveyed (the ones that we found down at Darnell’s Knee Slappin’ Watering Hole and Lounge) will tell you that New Year’s Day begins the day before the new year so as to “gets a head start on some good eatins’ and some good drinkins’ fer good luck!” To begin your Redneck New Year, make sure all the kin folk know what side of the railroad track the party’s at!
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All Rednecks know the secret to a successful New Year’s Eve Hoop-day-do is to plan early. Corn squeezins’ need to be prepared ahead of time in order for a more “robust” flavor to be enjoyed by all. As for the viddles, women folk just know what to bring to a hoe down. But, if this is your first Redneck New Year’s celebration, you will want to make sure that most of your viddles have some sort of lard in their ingredient complimented with 10 sweet pies 8 cakes and definitely something with pecans in it. Don’t forget to throw in a black eyed pea for luck! Sweet tea is usually served and drank out of a Mason Jar. Men-folk will mostly want to drink corn squeezins and to save on washing cups, they normally drink out of the same jug. The women folk love that!
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Usually, food is eaten when all the kin come together. A Redneck meal table setting can be easily done with the right type of pine. There is always a handyman around when it comes to Redneck decor. The best kind of table is made using a few sheets of plywood and then laid across several saw horses to make a good ole strong and steady table for all that food. After the Redneck thanks the good Lord for the swine that gave his life (no, not cousin Leroy) for the food about to be partaken, then it is on to Redneck partying!
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Bringing in the New Year like a Redneck can be accomplished with much fun and very little effort. There are several traditions that honor the Redneck New Year. Here are a few to get “yer” year off to a “BANG!”
1. Shootin’ the Breeze: Line up a row of used beer cans and shoot them off of a target without hitting anyone.
2. Belly Up: If there is a lot of mud (younguns love this one) run and jump belly down without landing belly up in the mud. The Redneck with the most mud on them after 3 attempts wins.
3. Spittin’ Contest: Whoever can spit whatever is in their mouth the furthest wins this game!
4. Guess Who’s Related?: The Redneck with the most kids wins this game.
5. Road Kill Baking Contest: A yummy treat for all. The only requirements for this baking contest is that there must be fresh road kill ingredients used and no animals shot in preparations for this dish.
6. Pig Hollerin’ Competition: Every Redneck heffer loves a good pig callin’! Line up your 10 best pig callers and “squeal” away. May the best porker win!
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To ring in the New Year like a true Redneck, a firearm must be shot and heard for miles around. This time honored tradition can be performed while sitting on the back of a horse, a truck or significant other. A yodel or exclamation of “ye haw” or “whoopee” are shouted followed by a return to the viddles table for some more good eatin’s. The New Year ends when all the corn squeezins has run out and all the women folk start to look like Cover Girls. Happy New Year!
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Hope everyone has a safe and fun night tonight! Happy New Year everybody! 
-DK
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Topics: Contests/Events, General | 22 Comments »
Don’t get too
everybody!
I’ll most likely be
by midnight!
I’m getting sleepy already. I’m sure that it has nothing to do with my age.
We’re getting ready to have our 1st Annual New Years family Wii bowling tournament, complete with frozen pizzas and PBR’s.
So you’re sittin’ at home tonight playing with your Wii?
Actually, I was just sittin’ here discussing the same thing with Michelle.
Will the Wii link up over the internet? Maybe I could join in? She just got the Wii for Christmas, so I have no clue how to do anything past turning it on.
Nope, no online play that I can see.
Guess I’ll drink my Blue Moon’s, eat my black eyed peas and collards, and play Wii alone.
so you 2 guys are playing with your wii wiis!
Anyone says that they don’t is lyin!
Happy New Year Hudd!
Hey, for what it’s worth, I won the pig hollerin’ contest tonight.
fireworks here look pretty cool.
Not permanent though I promise ya.
Hey, I lost the smilies.
Hey TC, you still hanging in there? Or did you crash with Leroy?
Oh Man..Just wrote out a long post and didn’t log in..forgot about the Captcha..does it still go in mod or do I have to retype it all?
Either way..everyone enjoy playing with their Wii’s and have a great night!
Nothing in moderation.
Sorry Sandi. The Captcha thing is just there to cut back on the amount of spam hitting the site. Trying to troubleshoot some issues with the comments lately.
Hope you’re having a great New Years! Collards and peas are almost gone here. Just ran out of beer.
OH NO! You can’t run out of beer! You still have some time left before the new year! Did you buy some of those Blue Moon comerative bottles for the blue moon? I bought 2 yesterday to the tune of $10 a piece..saving them until midnight..can’t wait to try the new brew.
Nope, just what was on sale at Food Lion. They didn’t have PBR in the bottle.
I forgot all about the blue moon tonight. Guess I had the right beer after all!
10 mo min!
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year everyone!
Hey! Hudd made it! Looks like TC musta konked out.
I think I’m gonna hit the road in a few. Gotta git back to the house. Start off the new year with some Zzzz’s!
Yeah I made it. Nothing fancy to eat, some frozen poppers earlier. A couple beers and a vodka and OJ. Just killin time right now.
Happy New Year!!!!!
And regarding the WII, some games you CAN play online. I play Mario Cart against my Niece. Bowling, however, is not online.
Happy New Year Huv!
Sounds like you’re a real pro when it comes to playing with your Wii!
Happy New Year!! I made it til about 10:30 last night after I got my arse kicked in bowling.
Hey my captcha code for this comment is “spiciest her”
10:30? So you missed the fireworks and rainbows.
At least someone got some rest last night. I got home and the neighbors were still going at it with the fireworks, so I couldn’t get to sleep. So i sat down to write up the new NFZ post. Then when the fireworks quite and i finally went to bed, my cat kept waking me up playing with my feet. I got my sleep in two hour stretches. Then when I finally decided to get up this morning (almost noon actually), not only had I run out of beer, but I’m out of coffee!
What a way to start off the new year huh?
Looks like a late lunch today. Gonna head out in a few, probably go to Cracker Barrel to eat today. Either that or flip a coin for Huddle or Waffle House, or maybe IHOP. Somewhere that has coffee.
